voleurz

Penticton

Max Hill has an uncanny ability incorporating women hygiene products in what I can only assume will be a daily occurrence of tour life: rap battles. Reed “The Speedman” Holmes being on the receiving end of Max’s “heavy flow” leveled the playing field with rhymes about directionless lifestyles and speedisms – Sentences formed so poorly they have the opposite effect of actually making more sense than they should. After this twenty-minute seminar 2 hours into our 6 hour drive to Penticton tour life really began to set in. The rest of the trip can only be described as 7 people with bipolar party disorder, experiencing extreme highs and lows of partying but nothing in between until we arrived at Bradens moms house and a sense of normalcy was briefly restored with a pasta, salad and garlic bread dinner. Consumed unconventionally fast as though it knew it would soon befriend the bars entire stock of Coors Light. The next thing I know we’re arriving fashionably late (I’m not sure if you can arrive fashionably on time so it’s better late) and headed straight to the beer pong table. Matt Margetts mom bought me a shot and I saw Shayne make out with so many girls that by the end of the night I’m sure his mouth had more viruses than that monkey from outbreak. The rest of the evening’s shenanigans are full of static like an old 1960’s TV with its rabbit ears limp and ill adjusted. Thankfully my digital memory prosthetic (camera) was able to immortalizing as many NSFW moments as possible. The next morning we had breakfast, reviewed the photos and had a conversation, which didn’t evolve beyond discussing the latest episode of MTV’s hit reality TV, show “Peak Season”. What’s not to like about vacuum sealed human drama packed in 20 minute sessions.